46 - Best Practices in Counseling

In 2019 and in 2022, R4R highlighted the story of Debora Barr, a woman who left homosexuality behind in pursuit of Jesus. Earlier this year, Garry Ingraham interviewed Debora, who shared that her former partner has also repented and is in a close relationship with Jesus. Barr also shared that her doctoral dissertation compiled key best practices found in ministries assisting those with unwanted attractions to the same sex.

Sixty interviews were conducted, including thirty-three women and twenty-seven men, which included twenty-seven ministry leaders and thirty-three ministry participants. (pg 101) Five different ministries in the Restored Hope Network were represented.[1] Barr states, “The five target ministries that participated in this study have more than 190 years of collective experience, ranging from 1976 to 2025, in helping people overcome same-sex attraction.” (pg iv)

Although the main focus of this survey was to determine best practices, the dissertation includes detailed information about the individuals’ backgrounds and provides quotes of their insights. The age range varied widely, as well as the number of years people had sought assistance. This finding is worth noting:

Most respondents (82% of participants and 82% of leaders) reported their attractions as exclusively or predominantly homosexual when they initially sought help, and (55% of participants and 91% of leaders) reported their attractions as being predominantly or solely heterosexual now. Survey respondents reported changes in their attractions as a result of participating in ministry augmented by other types of support that they pursued. (pg 114)

From this, we learn that the majority of participants experienced significant changes in their attractions, and they benefitted from assistance outside of individual counseling or a support group setting.

Below, we’ll see an outline of the key best practices. This list is similar to the types of helpful things I experienced in the support group at Harvest USA. The dissertation provides specific information on a number of these in an easy-to-read format. I highly recommend that any Christian mental health care professional or pastoral counselor read through this helpful report. This content will also enable any church seeking to establish a ministry to start on a strong foundation. (The summary graph on page 127 is particularly helpful.)

Key Best Practices (from survey + interview data)

1. Prayer & Inner Healing

   • Inner healing prayer, confession, repentance, and listening prayer were central.

   • Participants reported that prayer deepened intimacy with Christ and facilitated healing.

2. Safe Environment

   • Careful intake and screening processes ensured commitment and set clear boundaries.

   • Small groups provided in safe, gender-specific spaces.

3. Testimonies

   • Sharing stories of transformation provided hope and tangible models of change.

4. Worship & Teaching

   • Meetings often began with worship, followed by teaching or testimonies, before breaking into small groups.

5. Biblically-Based Curriculum

   • Emphasis on Scripture study, homework, and reflection.

   • Lessons addressed:

     • Root causes of SSA

     • Forgiveness

     • Identity in Christ

     • Coping with temptation

     • Prayer and discipleship basics

6. Forgiveness

   • Central theme: forgiving offenders and receiving God’s forgiveness. Seen as a major step toward freedom.

7. Identity in Christ

   • Participants stressed reorienting identity from sexuality to Christ, cultivating security and freedom in Him.

8. Coping with Temptation & Accountability

   • Learning practical strategies for resisting temptation.

   • Ongoing accountability through mentors, church community, or alumni groups.

9. Leadership Standards

   • Leaders should have sustained freedom from sexual/relational sin.

   • High accountability and clear vetting process were emphasized.

10. Integration with the Church

    • Ministries should train local churches to welcome and disciple people with SSA, not isolate them.

    • Building healthy friendships outside of the group was seen as vital.

11. Support Beyond the Program

    • Alumni support groups, mentoring, newsletters, and opportunities to serve in leadership help sustain transformation.

12. Boundary Policies

    • Clear rules on leader–participant and participant–participant relationships.

    • Debate exists on how strict boundaries should be, but Barr leans toward more structured boundaries.

Model Outcome

• Not all participants lost all same-sex attraction, but most reported that it no longer dominated their lives, which was a significant degree of change.

• Success was framed as pursuing holiness, developing resilience, and building supportive Christian community rather than complete erasure of desire.

[1] These ministries were All Things New Ministry, Desert Stream/Living Waters, Exchange Ministries, Outpost Ministries, Portland Fellowship. Three were included from other RHN affiliates, First Stone Ministries or Love in Action.