65 - Overcoming Obergefell - Answering the Hard Questions
“A just society can permit adults to form consensual relationships. But it must only promote the one family structure that does not require a child to lose their mother or father to be in it.” ~ Katy Faust @Advo_Katy, Jan 28, X
In last week’s edition of R4R, we learned about the Greater Than campaign, which is spearheading the restoration of marriage as being between one man and one woman, for the benefit of the children who could be born and raised in connection with their mom and dad.
The strategy Greater Than is promoting involves legal policy, the church becoming a child-centric force, and changing public opinion.[1] To move the minds of people who have invested in same sex relationships, we will need to be prepared to answer their questions with thoughtfulness and caring. There is a section on the Greater Than website offering suggested answers to the following questions:
Answering the Hard Questions
· Do you believe gay people are bad parents/don’t love their kids?
· Would children be better off in the foster care system than in a loving home with same-sex parents?
· How does my gay loved one’s marriage affect anyone else?
· Do same-sex couples have a right to parenthood?
· Don’t studies show that children with same-sex parents fare just as well as those raised by their mother and father?
· What about the Respect for Marriage Act?
· Shouldn’t the government just get out of the marriage business altogether?
· Will overturning gay marriage threaten interracial marriage?[2]
Katy Faust, the founder of Them Before Us, has been answering these heavy questions for years, and is currently doing a good job of defending the interests of children online as she encounters opposition to the Greater Than campaign. Numerous people responded to their announcement video on social media. For example, here is an exchange between former tennis pro Martina Navratilova and Katy:
Martina Navratilova @Martina
Speaking of evil. Or at the least, vile. According to these people, our relationships, our families and most of all, our kids, DO NOT COUNT. what is it to them? How I, a woman, married to a woman, affect people I never met just because I don’t have a husband? MYOB!!![3]
Martina, you have fought courageously for the truth that sex distinctions matter in sports. They matter even more when it comes to children. This isn’t about denying your dignity, your commitment, or the love you have for your kids. The question is whether the law should recognize the fundamental realities of how children come to be, and the conditions that most support their flourishing. Children come from a man and a woman. Social science overwhelmingly shows they do best, on average, when raised by that married man and woman. They form their biological identity through that man and woman, and their development is maximized by the distinct, complementary contributions that man and woman provide. Advocating for children’s right to their mother and father isn’t an attack on adults. It’s a refusal to pretend that adult desire can erase the sexed realities children are born from and depend on.[4]
Here are more examples of criticism with Katy Faust’s reply:
The problem with framing anti gay stuff as being all about the children is most terrible parents are straight. Tackle the adulterers and deadbeats before you go after the loving gay parents. The Bible barely talks about homosexuality compared to those.[5]
Katy Faust @Advo_Katy
The data is clear. Biological parents are the most connected to, invested in, and protective of children. Yes there are abusive biological parents, but any other household configuration only skyrockets risks of abuse and neglect. The most dangerous place a child can find themselves is in the home of an unrelated man. It’s not a question of heterosexuality or homosexuality. It’s a question of defending children’s fundamental natural right to both biological parents.[6]
what’s the end game here, yall? you’re gonna overturn obergefell, dissolve gay marriage, and then what will you do with all the kids you’ve deemed to be in a “less than ideal” situation? say it with your whole chest.[7]
Katy Faust @Advo_Katy
Answer: Families formed under a distorted understanding of marriage will remain intact. Moving forward, we will insist that all adults conform to the rights of children rather than forcing kids to lose their mother or father in service of adult identity.[8]
I find it encouraging that these people are coming out of the shadows. Best to know who wants to nullify your family unit[9]
Katy Faust @Advo_Katy
Defending a child’s right to their mother and father doesn’t nullify families. It exposes which family structures require nullifying a child’s relationship with their mother or father so adults can have what they want.[10]
Evan @Grand_Ole_Evan
If gay marriage should be illegal on biblical grounds, then probably most divorces + remarriage should also be illegal. “Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” - Jesus — Matthew 19:9[11]
Katy Faust @Advo_Katy
We’re not making a biblical case. We’re making a case based on how children are victimized when marriage is redefined.[12]
Leo @ODD_ewela
If marriage can end due to “divorce” then you’ve redefined it[13]
Katy Faust @Advo_Katy
Totally agree. Permanence, complementary, exclusivity - the three characteristics of marriage that make it such a child friendly institution. No fault divorce gutted permanence and generations of children have suffered as a result. Gay marriage is inflicting a new wave of suffering on children by denying them maternal or paternal love.[14]
Nick Gillespie @nickgillespie
The state should not discriminate against consenting adults regarding marriage. If it wants to get out of the marriage game altogether, great. But until then, two individuals should be able to get married and have the same benefits as any other pair. Obergfell was long overdue.[15]
Katy Faust @Advo_Katy
The problem is, Biology discriminates. It requires one man and one woman to create a child—and it strongly favors that mother and father when it comes to children’s outcomes. Obergefell prohibited the state from recognizing that difference. By refusing to distinguish between same-sex and opposite-sex couples, the law had to marginalize the one party who actually depends on that distinction: the child.[16]
Churches
On July 1st of last year, R4R reviewed the Them Before Us Small Group Curriculum – A Free Resource,[17] created by Katy Faust and her team. This seven-session video series includes a leader’s guide and workbook to help Christians understand the underlying principles of putting children’s needs first when considering marriage and parenting.
This resource covers the following subjects, helping us to understand the multiple benefits of the Lord’s design for families:
· Session 1 | Children’s Rights
· Session 2 | Biology Matters
· Session 3 | Marriage Matters & Divorce
· Session 4 | Modern Families
· Session 5 | Reproductive Technologies
· Session 6 | Surrogacy & Adoption
· Session 7 | Questions & Answers
Please consider using this small-group curriculum in your church or with a group of friends. And if you have not already signed on to support the Greater Than campaign, I heartily recommend it.
[1] https://greaterthancampaign.com/about-us/
[2] https://greaterthancampaign.com/learn-more/
[3] 1/29/26, X
[5] Jan. 29, 2026, X
[7] 1/29/26, X
[9] 1/29/26, X
[10] 6:17 AM · Jan 30, 2026, X
[11] 1/28/26, X
[12] 1/28/26, X
[13] 7:15 AM · Jan 30, 2026, X
[14] 1/30/26, X
[15] 1/30/26, X
[16] 4:01 PM · Jan 30, 2026, X
[17] https://resources4redemption.substack.com/p/them-before-us-small-group-curriculum?utm_source=publication-search
